For most of my life I've never felt like I've "belonged" anywhere. I always feel like an outsider trying to fight her way into the inside. Sometimes I go the other way and try to not fit in and try to push people away, because I know that I'll never truly fit in.
What is this desire to "fit in"? Why don't I feel like I belong.
I think growing up without any extended family has been a part of it. I mean they're family...you're supposed to fit in right? But then when we go visit its always just that, I'm always still just a visiter, never an insider. I'm not even an insider in my own family.
So then I try to latch on to someone else's family, I try to get them to include me in family things. But then I don't get invited to something and I feel like the door is bashed right back into my face and shouts "NO! You don't belong here either!" And the door is right, I don't "belong" to anyone eles's family either.
So I guess I'll just keep searching for somewhere I fit in, somewhere I belong.
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2 comments:
I know how you feel. I don't know if anyone truly feels like they belong.
We are born, live and die alone. But don't worry -- you're not alone in your feelings. I think many people feel like outsiders, and perhaps the rest are just faking it.
Thanks Taryn!
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