Never really belonging...

For most of my life I've never felt like I've "belonged" anywhere. I always feel like an outsider trying to fight her way into the inside. Sometimes I go the other way and try to not fit in and try to push people away, because I know that I'll never truly fit in.

What is this desire to "fit in"? Why don't I feel like I belong.

I think growing up without any extended family has been a part of it. I mean they're family...you're supposed to fit in right? But then when we go visit its always just that, I'm always still just a visiter, never an insider. I'm not even an insider in my own family.

So then I try to latch on to someone else's family, I try to get them to include me in family things. But then I don't get invited to something and I feel like the door is bashed right back into my face and shouts "NO! You don't belong here either!" And the door is right, I don't "belong" to anyone eles's family either.

So I guess I'll just keep searching for somewhere I fit in, somewhere I belong.

My thoughts on the proposed coalition government.

I'm not against the idea of a coalition government, what I'm against is a party leader who already agreed to step down leading this government.

A coalition government might be what Canada needs since no one seems to want to let the Conservative minority government do what they want to do. What I'm against is playing a game of Big Brother with our country and handing out veto power to a separatist party.

What Canada needs right now is a strong leader, but none of the current political parties are able to offer us that. I'm not really a fan of Harper anymore, but I'm not really a fan of the idea of Dion leading a coalition government. Also I wish they just did this a few months ago instead of sending us to the polls in the first place. Voting was really a waste of time now, wasn't it?

Random thoughts of the day.

So I'm sitting outside my class waiting for it to start, and I'm
thinking to myself...where has the time gone? I can't believe I'm
almost done half of my 4th year in university. I'm almost 21 too! Is
crazy cuz i remember my first day of U of C 101. I remember my first
few days of classes, I remember my first university final. And here I
am so many years later still enjoying it, though it does come with
plenty of stress and challenges.

In the next 15 days I have 2 oral presentations, 1 take home exam, 2
term papers, and 3 final exams. Oi. I know I'll get through it, its
just a question of how well. School has to be my first priority, not
work or anything else.

On another note I'm considering running for the Humanities rep in the
SU next year. I've been encouraged by a few people, its just figuring
out if I'll have the time too because of my honours thesis.